11/10/2020
The title says it all. We have had over 120K new cases of coronavirus a day for 5 days. It is already over 133K today and it's not even over yet. Deaths are up too over 1300 so far. I now know I will spend years going over the archives I keep and writing out the story of what happened in the pandemic of 2020. I feel the need deep in my soul to make sure it's done and no one forgets.
I was talking to Theo and my other friends today and got reminded of the article I wrote on Feb. 21, 2020 called "how did we get here?" I wrote it that way because deep down I knew we would end up here. I hoped we wouldn't. I fought against it but I knew. And I knew someday people would ask "How did we get here?" I'm proud of the article. But reading it again broke my heart. For the dead. For all the damage and hurt that has happened and will happen.
I speak from the heart here but I don't often talk about my personal life. But this I want to share. As you know I have an illness that got me ordered out of work for my safety during the pandemic. What you may not know is that the money I made was not just paying bills but being saved for a down payment on a house. Being out of work for two months before benefits started and having UI cut off in July pretty much wiped that out. The problem is we can't wait. The trailer we live in is literally rotting away and winter is coming. Vermont winter.
But I didn't write about this to be depressing. I wrote about it because of something amazing. I started a GoFundMe out of desperation. I never expected anyone to help with so many people desperate right now. But they did. My friends and people I have helped during the pandemic are helping me and I wanted to share that amazing and beautiful news with everyone. Life can be dark. Right now it is darker than usual. But there is light and love and kindness in the world. So much Love and kindness.
When I look back on this fall years from now THIS is what I want to remember. Not the death and sickness but the goodness in people. The way a community came together to help someone in a bad situation to find a better one. I have tears streaming down my face not from grief and sadness but from love and joy. I don't want to forget this. Not ever.
I don't know what will happen. I don't know if things will get worse or for how long. What I do know is that where there is love they will always get better again. Never forget that. Love and light always win as long as we hold them in our hearts. So I promised the world I would never forget the things that happened in this pandemic. Now I promise never to forget the love and kindness I have seen as well.
I'm sure I will feel the bite of anger again. I will feel loss and grief and pain. But for now all those things are pushed aside. As I remember the beautiful things I have in my life, and most importantly the people who have touched it. Thank you. All of you. And if you are reading this and in pain just know that there is love waiting for you. No matter where your road may lead you.